Colours
by ClarityAnnDale
Summary: Severus has been given two little charges by the name of one Draco Malfoy and one Harry Blasted Potter for the day. And the worst thing is, he can't touch a hair on their head. But what has this got to do with colour?


Colour

**Severus has been given two little charges by the name of one Draco Malfoy and one Harry Blasted Potter for the day. And the worst thing is, he can****'****t touch a ****hair on their head. But what has this got to do with colour?**

Severus grumbled vehemently under his breath, cursing James Potter to the depths of the Black Lake. He really needed a Firewhiskey, and pronto. He didn't know if it was the fact that Dumbledore was at it again with his meddlesome plans or the fact that he was burdened with babysitting the Potter and Malfoy spawn. Draco, by himself, he could deal with. He was his godfather after all, but Potter was another story. No doubt he was the same pompous brat his father was and still is. The only reason Severus even put up with both Potters, was for Lily.

And only for Lily.

'Uncle Severus!' signified the much dreaded awakening of the two young devils. Severus himself had been almost literally dragged from his beloved potions lab by a very impatient Lucius.

How he ever even landed himself in such an unfortunate position? Well, that may have had to do with drinking an extra sip of Lorien's Finest Wine and agreeing to some heinous plan proposed by three rash Gryffindors last night.

'_Snivellus!__' __came an unnecessarily loud yell from the kitchen. He grumbled non-commitedly and swept ever so regally into the room at the faint, dismayed cries of__ '__James!__'__._

_Lily, Potter, Mutt, Wolf and surprisingly, Lucius and Narcissa, sat around the kitchen table discussing whatever they were on about.__ '__Yes?__' __he asked expectantly._

'_Could you please look after Harry for me tomorrow? James and I__'__ll be out tomorrow.__' __Lily asked._

'_Can__'__t the Mutt and the Wolf do it? They are his godfathers after all.__'_

'_Lily won__'__t let me...__' __whined Mutt._

'_And why not let Wolf do it?__'_

'_It__'__s full moon tomorrow.__'_

'_And why can__'__t Mutt do it?__'_

'_Because he__'__s irresponsible.__' __Lily cut in, waving away Mutt__'__s complaints._

_Severus pinched the bridge of his nose.__ '__Do I really have any choice?__'_

_Potter made a face.__ '__No, because Lily says so. But! If you hurt a single hair on his head, I won__'__t hesitate to hex you into next week!__' __he declared._

'_As if I would touch __those greasy strands on that ego-inflated head of his.__'_

'_Hey! Whose hair you calling greasy?!__'_

'_CUT IT OUT!__' __Lily yelled, throwing her hands up as her __renowned temper kicked in.__ '__Can__'__t you guys act like decent adults?! That__'__s exactly why I won__'__t let you __look after Harry!__' __She waved an accusing hand at the cowering men. And they called __themselves Gryffindors._

'_I__'__ll look after Po-Harry tomorrow, Lily.__'_

_Lily__'__s expression was one of momentary surprise.__ '__Oh, you will? Thank you so much, Severus.__'_

_He nodded curtly._

'_And Severus?__'_

_Said man turned to Lucius, who had been silent during the entire __argument._

'_Can you look after Draco as well? I__'__ll let him stay at Grimmauld __tonight so you don__'__t have to pick him up.__'_

'_I still don__'__t have any choice, do I?__'_

'_You are Draco__'__s godfather, Severus.__' __Narcissa interjected quietly._

'_Yes, yes, very well. I will look after your impish charges tomorrow. But if they misbehave, I__'__ll make them scrub the cauldrons.__'_

'_See, Lily! He__'__s going to torture poor Harry!__' __Potter shouted, gesturing to Severus with flailing arms._

'_Calm down, James. I__'__m sure he__'__ll take good care of him.__' __Lily said soothingly._

_James acquiesced, but spent the rest of the night grumbling under his breath._

And so, Severus was now watching the two devils stumble downstairs with bleary eyes and clumsy steps.

'Good Morning Uncle Severus,' they chorused, albeit slightly mumbled.

Severus nodded at them in reply. 'Eat breakfast and don't be stupid. I'll be in the potions wing if you need me.' He stalked off, black robes swirling most ominously.

'There was a potions lab in here, Harry?' Draco whispered loudly.

'I didn't know that either but I'm hungry. Dobby!'

The quivering elf appeared, bulbous eyes peering at them. 'Yes, Master Harry is calling Dobby? Masters Harry and Draco needs something?'

Draco suppressed a yawn. 'Breakfast please.'

Dobby nodded violently. 'Yes! Masters Harry and Draco is be needing breakfast. Dobby will get them breakfast, Dobby will!' And with a quick click of knobbly fingers, the elf disappeared.

Moments later, two plates of steaming food arrived at the table and the wide-awake pair dug in.

'What do you want to do, Draco?' Harry asked between mouthfuls.

The blond-haired boy paused and wiped his mouth daintily. His grey eyes sparkled with mischief. 'Just think of all the things we could do with Uncle Sev in his lab!'

Harry smiled and finished off his plate, which promptly vanished just as he set down his fork. 'Let's go!'

He hopped off his stool and crept upstairs to the room they shared, Draco following close behind. They both grabbed their brooms simultaneously with the same idea in mind and snuck back down. They were almost there until Draco accidentally stepped on a creaking floorboard, coincidentally right in front of Walburga Black's portrait. The moth-eaten curtains flew open almost instantly and at the sight of Harry, the portrait began howling wildly.

'Filthy half-blood contaminating the noble house of Black! How dare he! And that unsightly dog-father of his! I am most ashamed to be his mother! The blood traitor! The uncouth mongrel, unfit to be my son! The-'

Harry and Draco did not hear the rest of the mad woman's tirade, but dropped their brooms with an enormous Crash! and rushed back upstairs. 'Let's go give my great-grand mother or whatever she is to me a make-over!'

After retrieving the most wonderfully colourful and permanent pencils they owned, they ran back to the portrait and put on their most devilish grins. 'Hello great-grandmother,' Draco said politely, discreetly hiding a pink crayon behind his back.

The woman in the portrait immediately ceased shouting profanities and smiled maniacally at the blond child. 'A Malfoy, finally. I've been waiting for someone worthy to come into this house,' she replied, sniffing contemptuously.

'Thank you-'

'So polite,' Walburga crooned, her thin lips twisted in what was hoped to be an attempt to smile.

'But I was wondering, great-grandmother, is what you're wearing supposed to be, you know, pretty?' he asked innocently.

Her smile become strained. 'Whatever do you mean, child? Surely, you can tell this is- eugh!'

Draco had begun working furiously at reconstructing her face and Harry followed soon with her clothes.

'What are you doing, Draco, what are you- I demand you- No, not the- NOT THE NECKLACE YOU FOOL!' she screamed.

Harry had stopped drawing long ago and stopped, watching the woman struggle with Draco, who still working concentratedly on a big pink bow. How could he stop the woman from making such an infernal noise? He had heard her use 'infernal' many times. Not that Harry knew what it was, but it was bound to be something insulting; nothing nice ever came out of her mouth. Aha!

Choosing a big black pen, he reached up to her horror struck face and drew a huge zip over her mouth. There.

'That's smart, Harry!' Draco beamed at him.

Harry grinned back and started drawing spiders on the frame, enjoying the woman's mortified expression. After a good while of decorating Walburga Black's portrait (Including several childish comments about her lack of fashion sense on her nameplate), the two progressed onto other portraits and soon the house was reduced to a cacophony of shrill squeals, screams and horrified yells.

In the North Wing Potions Lab

Severus was peacefully brewing a new batch of potions for Madam Pomfrey's stash of medical supplies when a loud, screeching noise erupted from down the corridor. He sighed, resigned to the fact that he wasn't getting peace for long anyways, so the interruption may as well be now. Standing up, he strode off to see what the two were up to.

He found them trying to smother their laughter on the ground, leaning against each other and gasping for air. There were assorted crayons, pencils, pens and other colouring supplies strewn all over the floor. And then came the not-so-harmonious symphony of shrieking portraits. Severus found Phineas sporting a new neon green moustache and bright purple bow tie, others dressed in variations of spotted top hats, hastily drawn glasses and huge emphatic eyelashes.

And at last, Severus came to the most redesigned painting, which happened to be Walburga Black's portrait. The woman's new look was to say the least, interesting. It was noticeably more colourful and she looked possibly better than she did before. She had huge pink fish lips drawn over her previous mouth, glasses identical to that of Rita Skeeter, a flimsy chartreuse tie, rainbow streaks and a long banana yellow cane with a monkey on it. And on top of all that, a black zip on her mouth, which seemed to stop the woman from talking.

'Walburga,' he bowed to her and turned around swiftly to deal with the wide-eyed boys, ignoring her indignant, though muffled, demands about clearing up her painting.

He raised an eyebrow at the two. Both had their most innocent expressions on and were looking interestedly at the ground.

'Well done.'

One blond head and one brunet head shot up at the comment, mouths open in disbelief. Severus allowed himself a twitch of the lip. 'Yes. I can see that Walburga Black has had a great improvement in her appearance. However,' The boys froze. 'How will I explain this to your parents, Potter?'

'Can't you Scrubbify it or something, sir? Well, except maybe for the screaming lady and the green moustache guy.'

'I object! I object! You must- you must- Ow!' Phineas glared at Potter, who had thrown a pencil at his portrait and was now cheekily poking his tongue out at the former Headmaster.

'You have nerve, Potter.'

'Thank you, sir.'

'That was not a compliment.'

'Oh.' Potter looked sheepish.

'Scourgify.' Severus waved his wand over the portraits, including Walburga's.

Draco and Potter hung their heads. 'She looked better that way.' Draco whispered to Potter. Potter nodded fervently. 'I know.'

'Now. If I hear another sound out of you two, I will make you scrub cauldrons.'

'Yes Uncle Severus.'

After one more suspicious look at the boys, Severus turned on his heel and returned to the safety of his potions lab.

Casting a glance at the now clean portraits, Draco smiled evilly. Oh yes this was a good idea.

'Harry!'

'Yes, Draco?'

And with that, he began to divulge his very foolproof plan to do with one Severus Snape and his hair.

'Dobby!'

'Masters called?'

'Can you get,' Draco whispered in a low voice, 'A stalk of knotgrass, moonstone and hmm… a bit of bellflower dust?'

'Why does Master Draco wants this?'

'That, is none of your business. Just get it, will you?' he snapped.

'Be nice, Draco,' Harry scolded, elbowing his friend in the ribs.

'Too bad, he's too inquisitive. He's a house-elf anyways.'

'But still!'

The required ingredients appeared in Draco's palm and the pair ran off to a secluded corner in the house where they could work undiscovered.

In the North Wing Potions Lab

There hadn't been anymore noise since the last fiasco and Severus was feeling immensely suspicious. No portraits had come screaming that their 'lovely faces' had been defiled, nor had there been a single sound. Everything had been peaceful, if not somewhat disturbing.

Unable to shake off that feeling that something rather disastrous involving _those _two, Severus got and left his lab. Little did he know, that two pranksters stood behind his door with a vial of bubbling orange liquid. They crept in as quietly as they could and found their way into his sleeping chambers and tipped the entire contents on his pillow.

Severus felt the unmistakable feeling of someone passing the wards in his chambers. Wand at the ready, he swept his way back and entered, calmly casting an, 'Incarcerous' at two small suspicious figures.

Bound up in ropes, were two very familiar faces with identical sheepish expressions. 'Hello Uncle Sev?'

'What were you doing in my chambers?'

'We… uhm…We were looking for you!' Potter stuttered.

'And the empty vial?'

Guiltily, Draco glanced backwards at the drenched pillow.

'Hah, nothing?'

'You were walking around with an empty vial?'

'It wasn't so empty before…'

'Draco!'

'Oh oops, shouldn't have said that?'

'Right. Get rid of that vial and go into the lab and scrub cauldrons.

The children visibly deflated. 'Cauldrons?'

'Yes, cauldrons. Now hurry up.'

'But Unc-'

'Just go.'

They shot out of the room and hurried away. 'Wait until my father hears about this!'

Severus smiled grimly. 'Oh yes, wait until he does, and it won't be from you.'

The Next Day

'DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY!

The blonde mumbled in his sleep and sat up.

'HARRY BLASTED JAMES BLOODY POTTER!'

The brunette gulped.

Thundering footsteps neared their room door and instinctively, the two boys rushed up and locked the door, looking at each other with terrified eyes. They had never heard Uncle Severus so mad before.

The doorknob rattled.

'OPEN THE DOOR THIS INSTANT, YOU TWO BRATS!'

'No-o?'

'Alohomora.'

The door unlocked.

And in stepped a furious Severus Snape with half blond and half red hair.

'You two. Downstairs. This _second_.'

Both leapt downstairs at an alarming pace.

Sitting at the table were Narcissa, Lucius, Potter, Lily, Mutt and Wolf, who had just returned from whatever important errands they had to run.

'DAD!' They both screamed, hurtling towards their respective fathers and hiding behind them. Severus walked in, with the lack of his usual steadiness, and headed towards them. Potter and Mutt began laughing raucously at his hair while the more dignified ones attempted to stifle their laughter behind their palms. Severus shot each and every one of them his best glare, which succeeded in making them shut up. Self-satisfied that he hadn't lost his touch yet, he started for Potter first. Oh yes, he was going to get it. He must've been the troublemaker of them two anyways.

Sadly, getting to young Potter was not that easy. There was the older Potter and his dramatic stunts to deal with first.

'LILY! DID YOU SEE THAT? HE WAS GOING TO ATTACK HARRY!'

'Have you ever thought why?'

'SEE, SO HE WAS GOING TO ATTACK HARRY; HE DIDN'T EVEN DENY IT!'

'The brat dyed my hair Weasley red _and _blond.'

'So? It was harmless, anyways! Can't you take a joke, Snivellus?'

'So you were the brains behind this, huh, Prongslet? Good job, Snivellus looks wonderful in his new hairstyle.' Mutt snickered.

'_I _was the brains behind this all,' Draco said pompously, puffing out his chest proudly.

'It was _you!__' _Severus snarled, turning around on Draco, who froze.

'N-no, we both did it, I just-t, DAD!'

'Yes, son?' Lucius replied smoothly, a hint of amusement in his voice.

'Help me!' he whined.

'Very well. I think's its time for us to leave now. I bid you leave. Goodbye.' Lucius rose. 'Come Narcissa, Draco.'

'We shall not trespass on your hospitality for any longer, Lily, James.' Narcissa nodded to them.

'Where do you think you're going?' Severus asked, his voice quiet and dangerous.

'Back to the Manor, of course. Where else? Though I do have business at Gringotts. Goodbye Severus.' The senior Malfoy replied cheerfully. 'Come, come, give me your hand, Draco.'

The boy hurriedly held his father's hand and the two Disapparated away, Narcissa following seconds later.

'The damned Malfoys! I will kill the boy.'

'Watch it there Snivellus, or you may find yourself the next Dark Lord after Moldy.'

'And you'll be the first on the list, Mutt.'

Sirius' face drained of all colour.

'Now, now, Sev. Go get yourself some chamomile tea to relax yourself.'

'No chamomile tea, Lily,' he said, voice slightly strained.

He turned on his heel and Disapparated to Spinner's End.

'Now, where is that Firewhiskey, no, no, no, ah!' Triumphantly, Severus pulled out a large bottle with _Firewhiskey _emblazoned across the label and poured himself a generous tumblerful. Of course, he wasn't an alcoholic, he just needed the comfort of drinking until he was insane, incoherent, and unable to process a single thought in his brain.

In the Potter Household

Harry exhaled deeply, knowing that his cranky professor was gone. He smiled sheepishly at his parents; mum was looking at him in the way she always did before a long lecture came, and dad was grinning at him as if he had just done the best thing in the world.

'That was hilarious; you should've seen Sniveller's face!' Sirius chuckled.

'Oh don't be mean…' Lily admonished.

'You're saying it like Sniveller's going to come back and try to kill Harry,' he replied.

'Verreee ees Harrry Potterrr? I s-shalll-killlll himm…'

"AHH!'

'Severus, what are you doing here?'


End file.
